Well Sparklers, you really brought out the big guns this week. I received the usual spate of inquiries re: sandwiches and silly TV ads, but it seems you predominantly want to know how to handle huge, difficult, complex life issues, the kind of questions that can’t be answered in one paragraph on a blog. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try. And because you sent in so many solid queries that deserve solid answers, we’re continuing the column later this week in order to dig into everyone’s favorite topic: relationships! In the meantime, here are 10 questions to start us off:
I home school. Yes, shaming as it is, I was wondering what people who go to REAL school think about me and my other home-schooler types? Are we freaks of nature like the X-Men? Or are we the nerdy-underdog types? Or are we normal?
I feel for you. I work from home, and all of my friends who toil in the cube farm totally think I’m unemployed because I sit around in pajama pants all day. My sense is that while school-schooled kids often claim that home-schooled kids are “weird,” they are just jealous. You probably receive an education that’s just as good as theirs, but you don’t have to put up with same high school frustrations, including impromptu hallway bullying, changing for gym class, terrible lunches, and teachers who call on you when all you want to do is sleep. Thus, I hereby pronounce you normal.
My ex-boyfriend has been a real jerk since I broke up with him, like he’s been calling me very derogatory names, and even has resorted to throwing things at my head on the bus. He has even thrown me in a bush, causing me to fight back. What can I do to make him be nicer? (It was his fault I broke up with him because he was rude.)
The throwing has got to stop! You shouldn’t have to do anything to make him be nicer—you are broken up and free to go your separate ways. It’s his problem if he can’t deal with this, but he’s making it your problem by being physically and emotionally abusive. If he isn't the kind of guy you can reason with, I encourage you to take this issue to someone you trust—a parent, teacher, or school counselor. They will be able to give you more specific advice and assistance, because no one has the right to cause you harm. P.S. I think you made the right decision in breaking up with him.
College is supposed to be the greatest and most influential four years of your life, right? Well, if it’s so important, how am I supposed to know which college is “right for me?” There are so many options, and I can’t possibly travel all round the country looking for colleges because of time, but more importantly because of financial restrictions. This is actually the main reason that I am scared about choosing wrong—my family is sort of tight on money right now, so I don’t want to waste my parents’ money on a very expensive college if I’m not entirely sure that I will love the school… What should I do?
Unfortunately, there’s no way to determine which college is exactly right for you before you go there. But try not to pressure yourself into finding that single magical college, as there’s a good chance you’ll have a great time and learn a lot at any one of many colleges. During your search, you can quickly evaluate colleges by talking to their students. If their perspectives and reactions to the school jibe with what you’re looking for in a college, that’s a positive sign. Once you get to college, you’ll instinctively know whether you chose one that fits you. And if it doesn’t fit, you can always transfer. Just be sure to give yourself time to get used to being in college, as the first semester (or even the whole first year) is tough on many students, regardless of where they go to school. Regarding your family’s finances, you should talk to your parents about your concerns and find out whether their current situation should put any restrictions on your search. You should also research applicable grants, loans, or other forms of financial aid—your school’s guidance counselor can probably help you figure out some of this stuff. It’s very considerate of you to be respectful of your family’s financial situation—hopefully things will improve soon.
Why are teachers so annoyed when you correct them and you’re actually right? Or is that being an obnoxious know-it-all even if you are right? Should you just not ever correct them? These things confuzzle me.
Indeed, teachers are often confuzzling. You have to handle these situations on a case-by-case basis, as a lot depends on the teacher and the thing you are correcting. Some teachers believe they are the universe’s Supreme Knowledge Providers and therefore they are never wrong about anything. These are the ones that will fly into a rage if you correct them, so you may want to bite your tongue unless it’s an inexcusable offense. Furthermore, it also depends on your method of correction; if you say to a teacher, “Yo, you’re wrong,” you may very well come off like an obnoxious know-it-all. The key is to make teachers realize they’ve made a mistake without telling them outright. You might not get credit for the correction, but you’ll get credit for not embarrassing your teacher in front of the whole class, which might make your life a lot easier in the long run.
I have a friend who is honestly a promzilla! I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but really, my friends and I are getting kinda tired of it and her ridiculous demands. First, she bought six dresses (I'm not exaggerating), one after the other, because "Oh, I couldn't decide which one looked better and I saw a really pretty one, so I just had to buy it!" Like holy cripes! You already bought a nice dress, so stop looking at other dresses! Also, she is really caught up in making arrangements for a limo, a picture-perfect place for photos, and having a grand after-party. But that's not all. She was really desperate for a date at first, however, she finally found one—that's something she should be happy about, right? But no... when me and a few friends asked her if she was going to dance with her date, she said "No." One of my friends decided to ask rather "innocently" if she would dance with this other guy whom she has a big crush on and who has a girlfriend, and guess what she said? She said maybe, if his girlfriend lets her. Not only that, but she tried very hard to take over his table just so they can be in the same table, and it came to a point where she basically made a big mess of our group's and acquaintances' table arrangements. My friends and I have been trying to get her to calm down, but she doesn't seem to listen and we're afraid that she's going to be way too preoccupied with the planning, rather than actually looking forward to the actual event. And with that being said, I really don't think she's going to end up enjoying the actual Prom. Also, this is putting a bit of a strain on our friendship. Please help and share your thoughts.
You really only have one option here: You’ve gotta put the smack down on promzilla before she ruins prom night for everyone, including herself. Hopefully she’s just overexcited and a quick but firm conversation will bring her to her senses. Maybe she’s aware that she’s kinda sorta overreacting and just needs someone to help her through it, and who knows, maybe she’ll even thank you. Just make every effort to be discreet and not gang up on her. Promzillas do not like to be cornered, and there’s a chance that she will become extremely defensive and breathe fire into your face.
My mom cooks me a mini pizza every morning before school for my lunch. Unfortunately, even when I put the hot pizza in as many bags as possible, the smell of pizza still drifts out of my backpack. I love having pizza for lunch, but I really don’t appreciate having people think that I wear pizza-scented perfume. What should I do?
Have you tried rubbing a tuna sandwich on the back of your neck? That should cover up the pizza smell.
Ok, so I’m dating this guy who's a lot older than me. Like 8 years older. I’m 17. He’s honestly the sweetest guy I have ever met and it is very obvious that he’s not in it for creepy reasons. We've talked about the age difference and he’s wary of it, and I suppose I am too, but my friends and family are completely split on the issue. My mother obviously doesn’t like the age difference, though she likes him. Two of my best friends don’t have a problem and one really does. I really like him and I trust him completely. What do I do?
Bravo on talking with him about the age difference and problems it may cause—communication is an awesome thing. You seem to have a healthy relationship, and that’s more important than how old anyone is. My only real advice here is to keep doing what you’re doing: stay on top of the situation and the potential difficulties it presents. As your relationship develops, the age difference may become more or less of a problem, but there’s no reason to make any hasty decisions right now. As for your mother and your friends, keep communicating with them as well. They are only looking out for your best interests, so let them know that you appreciate it. Also make sure they know that you are committed to your relationship and keenly aware of the obstacles involved.
Why is marijuana still illegal when much more dangerous products like cigarettes, alcohol, or almost any prescription or over the counter drugs are not? Maybe I'm just biased, but it seems kinda, what's the word... oh yeah, stupid.
It’s not really all that stupid. There are many very sensible reasons why marijuana is not legal in the United States. Here are two major ones: 1) Marijuana has a strong cultural stigma attached to it that outweighs any scientific evidence regarding its effects (negative or positive) on the human body. Furthermore, many people (especially lawmakers) perceive marijuana as dangerous and addictive. They associate it with much harder drugs, and often consider it a “gateway drug” that leads to the abuse of substances such as heroin and cocaine. 2) The other products you mention all have massive industries associated with them and provide the government with millions of dollars in tax revenue every year. Marijuana would have a better shot at legality if federal and state governments could figure out how to make money from it.
How do you deal with an annoying texter? Many a day, I’ll get a text that just says, “hey.” Being nice, I’ll respond with something like, “heyyy, whats up?” The other person will simply say, “Nm. U?” or “walking.” The conversation will continue like this for several minutes until I become too frustrated to keep texting the person back. And then the next day I’ll find out from the school gossip that that person is mad at me because I ignored them yesterday. GAH! WHAT DO I DO?!
The next time this annoying texter sends you a pointless message, call them back. Say, “I just got your text, what’s up?” If this person truly has nothing to say, it will be painfully obvious, and you can get your brutal small talk over with in a minute instead of having your life and thumb muscles interrupted over the course of the day. Captain SuckyText will probably think twice before hitting send on a meaningless message again.
Do you make up some of your questions or something?
I made up the questions in the first Chris Listens post, but otherwise they have all been submitted by SparkNotes readers. Including this one!
Make up a question and send it to chris@sparknotes.com. Just try to confuzzle me.
By: Chris_Diken
Topics: Life
Tags: chris listens
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