First, second, even third relationships begin on a happy, hopeful note. But as someone who has loved and lost, it's safe to say, nothing lasts forever, especially not your first love and especially not in the perilous high school dating world.
Once the dreaded breakup has been weathered, the tears cried, and the late night bawl fests with your friends mercifully at an end, your newly single self may be wondering: can I be my ex's friend?
This was something I never had to deal with because my breakup with bf number one was so horrifically bad and painful, the very notion of friendship was out of the question. Other couples don't have it so rough, and if things end amicably why not be friends? After all, chances are you were friends before you started dating anyway.
To be fair, this is a case by case sort of thing. One of my friends, who also had a similarly heart-wrenching breakup with her high school sweetheart, is now as close to her ex as she ever was, with nary a thought of getting back together. They talk, like any buddies, on AIM almost every night, and he seems like a truly valuable friend to her; so unlike the guy who stomped on her heart not that long ago.
But another close friend, who had been pseudo-dating a guy on and off through-out high school, had a much worse experience. After another breakup whatever friendship they had established would inevitably lead to hooking up, which begged the question, "Are we dating again?" The answer was never "yes." Said friend has happily found a very nice bf now but, still, it was hard to watch her go through the drama when all she was trying to do was extend the olive branch and move on.
Exes, in my book, are always more trouble than they're worth (you did break up after all). Yet I know so many people who have really great friendships with their exes, and I want to believe it's a possibility for me someday.
Are you friends with an ex? And if so, how on earth do you do it?
Topics: Life
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