Normal Girl vs. HMU (Heavy Makeup User)
Here at SparkNotes, we’ve been mining for rockstar Sparklers - real readers with so much insight, they know what you ate for breakfast this morning. The following post comes to us from Sparkler reimbursement. Enjoy! -SparkNotes Editors
You've seen it everywhere: At the mall, the sales ladies flock around the rich-looking people and beg them to buy their $400 perfume; on the sports field, the coaches smile at their top players and yell at the rest. But how about in our very own classrooms?
My school consists of several male teachers who randomly greet and smile at the tall, eyeliner-clad, model-like girls while solemnly ignoring the rest. Of course, there are other male instructors who are fair and don't just judge you on your looks, but the ones who do - I just wish to kick their wrinkly (and perverted) pantsuits, you know? Especially this one teacher I have.
Here is what happens in my science class on a regular basis:
Normal girl: Hello. Would you please help me with this problem? I don't understand it.
Teacher: (grunts) Mumble mumble.
Normal girl: OK, I understand this problem now. Thank you.
Teacher: (rolls eyes)
Enter Heavy Makeup User wearing short shorts or a $500 cashmere cami.
HMU: Like, I need to know how to do this problem.
Teacher: (big smile) Sure, what do you need?
HMU: Like, this one. It is, like, ultra confusing.
Teacher: (smiles) Well...this is how you do it...etc
HMU: Oh. Whatever then. (exits)
Teacher: (Still smiling) You are welcome!
Whatever, 30-something year old who is still a bachelor.
Also, according to statistics, high school teachers have the highest divorce rate because they spend more time with young people everyday. Is this true? Maybe. Or maybe not. You know how statistics are.
Sigh. At least I'll be off to college soon. Hopefully college professors are more justified.
Notice something funny going on in your high school? Share it with the SparkNotes community. Send your submission and username to contribute@sparknotes.com.
By: Contributor
Topics: Life
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