Ten Books That Drive Students Nuts

Despite the fact that reading is widely recognized as a good thing, people always seem to be telling kids what books they should stay away from at all costs. Every year, parents, teachers, and other professional opinion-havers raise a big ol’ stink about volumes that contain depictions of violence, sex, and, more recently, gay penguins. Some of these books end up banned from school libraries, and others, such as The Catcher in the Rye, become instant favorites among students. (Swearing in an assigned novel? Bring it on!)

But no one ever reports on what books students find offensive. Of course, it’s not the explicit content that bothers them (most readers like those parts best). Rather it’s the length, writing style, or snoozeworthy subject matter that causes consternation. And because students can’t file formal complaints, they are reduced to posting snide remarks on a publisher's Facebook page.

Starting right now, that bellyaching will no longer go unacknowledged; we at SparkNotes have heard the muffled sobs and muttered epithets emanating from the study carrels, and we’re spreading the word about the books that most often send kids over the brink:

The Odyssey by Homer
Teachers always make a huge deal about how The Odyssey is “as exciting as an action movie.” Problem is, all the action is buried beneath 27 layers of ancient poetry, and you’re never quite sure what’s going on. That’s why SparkNotes made this handy guide—now you won’t miss out when Odysseus gets the Cyclops drunk and stabs it in the eye with a flaming 2x4.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
More like A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Wuss. The part where Stephen Dedalus gets thrown into a ditch is pretty good, but the 100+ pages he spends ruminating on priesthood have most readers screaming, “Make a decision already!” at the page.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Um, duh, because it’s a bird? And it can’t yell at anyone to set it free?

Walden by Henry David Thoreau
This is the one where that dude lives in the woods for a couple of years and keeps a journal about it. There are few books less relevant to the lives of modern students than Walden. To see what Thoreau's life was like, unplug your wireless router, turn off your cell phone, and go for a walk. Fascinating, isn’t it?

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
This book is more disappointing than frustrating, because you find out that Frankenstein is the name of the crazy doctor, not the big green dude. That guy goes by “the monster,” and you’ve been getting it wrong all these years.

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
Someone should change the first line to “It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.” Dickens was paid by the word, and we’re pretty sure he stuffed some unnecessary paragraphs into Tale to make a few extra bucks.

The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Students used to hate The Grapes of Wrath because they couldn’t relate to its Great Depression-era conditions. But now that the type of hardship suffered by the Joads is familiar to a lot of modern-day American families, bleakness is making a comeback.

The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot
If this book was about a tiny mill built on top of a box of dental floss, it might have something going for it. As it stands, it’s a sensitive portrayal of a brother and sister who live near a river. There’s a flood at the end, but it takes almost 600 pages to get there.

1984 by George Orwell
In 1976, students totally loved this futuristic novel. Now it's more of a history book, and some people think an updated version called 2024 needs to be released.

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Faulker’s writing style is intentionally confusing and he purposefully withholds important details throughout this novel. That’s why most students intentionally put it aside and purposefully turn on the television.

Do you agree with our list? Which books drive you batty?