Okay, this FaceTwit thing really has to stop. Sparklers, ignore the headline above! Oh fine, hi, I'm Emily, a SparkLife writer who just joined the fabulous team of editors, and yesss, okay, it's true, I'm running our Facebook and Twitter accounts. But, really, FaceTwit? ANTI. LOL.
Okay, kinda lol.
You Sparklers can basically think of me as the Nanerpus of SparkNotes, mostly because I ate Nanerpus for breakfast today. Eyeballs and all. So what do I do as the eyeball-eating FaceTwit of the office? Ummmm, errrrrr, flarrrrrfle, mmm...
Things I CANNOT do
-Give Miss Marm a kiss on your behalf. (I checked it out, against company policy.)
-Recite Shakespeare without accidentally slipping into The Lords Prayer. (Ehem: "O Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or if thou wilt not be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from... Romeo?") Thank heavens for No Fear Shakespeare.
-Make new SparkNotes appear on the site at snap of my fingers. Okay, I'm no wizard, but I really DO want to hear about what we at SparkNotes can do to make your crazy lives a little bit easier so we can stop reading your horror stories on FML. Whenever you've got an issue over there (not to be confused with an issue down there) let me know on Facebook or Twitter!
-Tell you the meaning of life via our new Facebook and Twitter accounts. Sorry, I admit, I just don't know it yet, but I bet it has something to do with Twizzlers and string cheese. (I'm always mungry.) What I CAN give you is inside info on our writers, links to hilarious stuff and responses to some of those...um, issues.
-Drive you to prom. Unless you want to ride on the back of a rusty moped as your schmancy prom clothes drag across major roadways, collecting grime, hairballs and maybe a few severed fingers. You know what? it's totally up to you.
How to Find Me: On a clear night when the moon is full, wish for me upon a shooting star at the stroke of midnight, and I shall appear out of thin air like the magical fairy princess that I am.
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Topics: The Internets
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