Writer Condenses SparkNotes, Enjoys Successful Career, Dies Old
Ever wanted SparkNotes for your SparkNotes? Lucky for you, between Twitter and sites like this one, it seems like you can find uber-condensed summaries of everything from movies to your cousin's toe hair.
...Everything except literature, that is.
We at SparkNotes could stand no more of this, so we made Twitter-sized summaries of some of your most-read books. But first, we must declare a SPOILER ALERT, sort of. We don't think one bite-sized sentence can spoil your appetite for a good book, but don't say we didn't warn you...
Lord of the Flies:
Lack of female presence leads to cannibalism, tears.
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn:
Before advent of email, runaways miss big news at home.
Catcher in the Rye:
Sexually frustrated hipster has meltdown, recovers.
A Midsummer Night’s Dream:
Unemployed misanthropes pool resources for double wedding.
Antigone's Family Tree Project looks more like underbrush.
Tyrannical pig finds comfort in whiskey.
Young woman chooses suitor with too much baggage.
Dude hates war.
The Great Gatsby:
Car accident kills trashy lover of married man, pool cleaner has big job.
Elm tree just not big, hard enough.