Auntie SparkNotes Will Get Rid of Your Room-Elephant

This week, we heard from a commenter with a classic conundrum.

Sparklife, I need your help!!
I am really in love with a girl, and I mean it. I would never allow anything to happen to her, and so on. But the problem is that I am her ‘Best friend’, she always calls me her best friend as if she knows that I like her, and is putting up a safety net. I really want to ask her out but I’m afraid that might ruin our good relationship right now. Should I risk it? Or do I stay low?!

Well, as they say: We’ve got good news, and we’ve got bad news.

The good news is, you don’t have to sweat it out wondering how to confess your feelings to your Dream Girl: She knows. When you’re really in love with someone, it shows in pretty much everything you do. So unless she’s as dumb as a box of hair, your friend has already noticed that you’re harboring more-than-friendly feelings for her. (And you wouldn’t fall for someone who’s dumb as a box of hair, right?)

The bad news is…well, like we said, she already knows. And instead of jumping at the opportunity to kick your relationship into romantic territory, she keeps stressing what a good friend you are and—we suspect—hoping that it’ll keep you from mentioning the giant, love-stricken elephant in the room.

And the good news about the bad news? You don’t have to worry about what she thinks.

Instead, ask yourself this: do you like things the way they are? Do you really want to keep pining away with your mouth shut? You say you don’t want to ruin your “good relationship,” but your relationship is built on a big ol’ lie: for it to keep going, you have to keep pretending you don’t have feelings for her. And while keeping your love on the DL might not rock the boat in the short-term, it also greatly increases the chances of a future moment like this:

Scene: Three years from now, you and Dream Girl are splitting a pizza.

Girl: Hey, can you pass the parmesan?
You: (screaming) WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LOVE ME?!!!!

So be brave, grasshopper. Ask her out. Hope that she’ll say yes, but accept that it’s possible (and even likely) that she’ll say no. The worst thing that can happen: You get rejected, you move on, and you embrace the prospect of a real relationship with someone you really dig. Not bad.

Got a burning question that can only be answered by the infinite wisdom of Auntie SparkNotes? Leave it in the comments, or email us at advice@sparknotes.com. Note that we might answer your question in a blog post (without identifying you in any way).