You know all those friend requests that you haven't answered? The ones that are just sitting there, tormenting you every time you log into your Facebook or myspace account? We have 'em too, and we're just as unsure about what to do with our limbo friends as you are. Accept them, deny them, or leave them be—whatever you do, it's bound to lead to some awkward social drama.
This is one of the great moral dilemmas of our age, and it's not going away any time soon. As a courtesy to you, kind readers, we've broken down your options and the likely outcomes so you can make an informed decision when dealing with those frustrating limbos:
The random acquaintance
Accept: The next time you see this person in the hallway, on the bus, or at a sporting event, you'll engage in your usual "hey" exchange. Only this time, you'll know that they're obsessed with Hannah Montana, are fans of baking soda toothpaste, and count "screaming in public" and "breathing in the lush residue of life" as favored activities. Harmless information, but strangely intriguing all the same.
Deny: Instead of nodding and smiling when they pass you between classes, they now give you the stink eye. They begin to reignite long-dead rumors about how you used to be friends in elementary school until you peed your pants in class. Their hostility gradually increases until they break down in the front yard of your school and scream to your face "why didn't you friend me? What would it have cost you?!?"
Leave them in purgatory: At the end of the school year, this person asks to sign your yearbook and, because you've left them hanging digitally, you feel you have to overcompensate in reality. Consequently, while they scribble a generic "Have a great summer, see you in the fall!" you write "Passing you in the hall always brightens my day and gives me a newfound sense of purpose." There's no going back; it's in ink.
Suggested course of action: Purgatory; in some cases, no decision is the best decision.
The crush
Accept: You decide to be bold and accept your crush's request only to find out that he/she is in an "It's complicated," long-distance relationship with someone they met at summer camp last year. Now each time you log into your account, you are faced with endless updates about how they are "anxious to see what happens next summer." Oh, how you long for the days when you could just look at the request and imagine what it would be like if you two were dating.
Deny: You reason that playing hard-to-get will make you appear mysterious and enticing. But shortly after you deny the request, you notice crush doesn't stop by your locker anymore to "see if you're surviving." Years later, you may run into this person at a party where you harmlessly engage in a "why didn't we ever get together" conversation, at which point they look you square in the face and say "you denied my friend request; I assumed you weren't interested." Remember, you can never get this time back.
Leave them in purgatory: "John" or "Sarah" forgets that they ever sent you a friend request and the hints of flirtation that had been building between you dissipate. Now you're left with only one option to reignite the flames: Friend request them with an apology for accidentally deleting their request and pray they accept!
Suggested course of action: Accept; you'll be better positioned to break up that long-distance relationship if you're working from the inside.
The summer camp counselor/extra-curricular coach/former teacher
Accept: This person seems pretty cool, for an adult. You accept the request and grant limited access to your profile by putting him/her or an "Adults Only" friend list. But, he/she doesn't know how to use friend lists and you didn't think about the fact that he/she would overshare their lives. Now you receive a constant stream of updates about his/her final exam schedule, how pumped he/she is for the upcoming season, and how he/she is going for a masters in ethnomusicology, whatever that is.
Deny: Next time you're at camp, at practice, or run into this teacher in the hall, they ask you "if everything's all right." You say yeah, but they insist that you're hiding something, that you can feel comfortable confiding in them, that they remember what it was like to been a teenager. You're completely justified on the grounds that you have a strict "no adults allowed" rule when it comes to friending. But now there's no way to convince them that you're not a hooligan with inappropriate pictures plastered all over your profile. Really, it's just a privacy thing? Really? Really?
Leave in purgatory: This option allows Mr./Mrs. G to hold on to a little hope that he/she may be the "cool teacher" he/she thinks he/she is. And who are you to take that away from him/her, even if he/she does still wear scrunchies? (Well, maybe he doesn't.)
Suggested course of action: Deny; you have to draw the line somewhere.
So what would you do? Do you have a surefire way to handle those unanswered requests?
Topics: The Internets
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