Can We Have Some New Debate Topics, Please?

If you are on the debate team, you know that most of the topics are...how should we put this...boring. Yes, diplomacy, social issues, and science are great fodder for academic debates. But no matter who wins the argument, the audience always loses. (We mean no offense to debate teams everywhere. This is less about you, and more about the lame topics.) We here at SparkNotes have come up with a few debate topics that we'd love to see answered in a rigorous academic fashion. If you're on the debate team, or just want a great way to start a conversation, we suggest tackling one of the arguments listed below. (You must argue either for or against each statement.)

• Resolved: Superman would defeat Luke Skywalker even if Skywalker had two lightsabers.
• Resolved: If stranded on a desert island, having books you've never read would be better than having books you've already read.
• Resolved: Washing your feet in the shower is pointless, as it is safe to assume they get washed from residual soapy water as you cleanse the rest of your body.

• Resolved: Craisins are better than raisins.
• Resolved: Slumdog Millionaire was just OK.
• Resolved: A month-old polar bear cub has what it takes to kill an elderly elephant.
• Resolved: Attics are scarier than basements.
• Resolved: It would be better to have the ability to fly, even if you could only fly as fast as you could walk and you would get easily tired, than to have the ability to turn invisible for 14 minutes every month.
• Resolved: Stairs are more important than doors.
• Resolved: Nicolas Cage is probably a normal guy in real life.
• Resolved: The phrase "Believe you me" doesn't make sense.
• Resolved: Girls with bangs look hot.
• Resolved: Recumbent bicycles are stupid.
• Resolved: Eating lip gloss isn't a big deal.
• Resolved: Radiohead is better than Nirvana ever was.
• Resolved: The United States should invest in jet pack technology and alternative jet pack fuels.
• Resolved: Making out with Mona Lisa would be better than making out with The Girl with the Pearl Earring.
• Resolved: Red Bull should make caffeinated lunch meat.
• Resolved: No one looks good in black jeans.
• Resolved: Trampolines are only fun for about an hour.
• Resolved: The United States should pass a law that says it's OK for each citizen to kill one person and get away with it.
• Resolved: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is much better than Twilight.
• Resolved: If all cat owners put their cats in water for ten minutes a day, every day for a few thousand years, cats would eventually learn not only to love water, but to thrive in it, thus creating a very real catfish.
• Resolved: There's no way you can jump over a parking meter.
• Resolved: It is better to eat a live spider than a booger sandwich made from the boogers of strangers.
• Resolved: If you dug a tunnel through the center of the earth and out the other side, and then jumped into that tunnel, you would yo-yo back and forth through the tunnel (coming out the other side and then falling back into the tunnel) for the rest of eternity.
• Resolved: The mom from the Family Circus comic strip is probably crazy in bed.
• Resolved: Werewolves should not have super-strength because dogs are not stronger than humans. So, if anything, werewolves should be weaker than humans.
• Resolved: Given the right role, Winona Ryder could win an Academy Award.
• Resolved: Curious George is kind of an a**hole, if you think about it.
• Resolved: Jack Black, armed with a book of matches, could defeat Jeremy Piven, armed with the serrated edge of an aluminum foil box.
• Resolved: A bag of Doritos and a bottle of ice tea counts as breakfast.