You're not a jock. You're not a nerd. You don't dance. You're not into cars. You're not a cheerleader. You can't sing. You're smart, but not smart enough to hang with the brainy kids. You're not into drugs. You're not overly emotional. You don't quite understand goth. You hate musical theater. You're not in any type of band, marching, garage, or otherwise. Your hair is normal. You're not into video games. And you're funny, but by no means a clown.
What to do?
Relax. You're not alone. Many high school students don't fall neatly into one of the subcategories listed above. Still, being average can be lonely. If you want to stand out, yet cannot identify with any of the clichéd types of high schoolers, we here at SparkNotes recommend starting your own group. It's easy! Just follow these simple steps.
Step One: Choose Clothes
All groups are identifiable by their clothing. From T-shirts to chain wallets, all cliques have a costume, and your new clique should, too. The problem is that most clothes and styles have already been claimed by a group…with the exception of lab coats and clown collars. Sure, it sounds silly, and will look even sillier. But that didn't stop the first person to pop a collar or wear winter hats indoors. Make the outfit work by walking around with a sense of confidence.
Other possible clothing types:
World's Greatest Grandma sweatshirts
Khaki pants and shirts like animal experts wear
Step Two: Name
If you think about it, the term "jocks" is a pretty disgusting name for a group of athletes. Why not just call them "sweaty cloth for your naughty, sensitive bits"? Just as disturbingly, the word geek was originally used to describe circus folk who bit the heads off chickens. And don't even get us started on the ridiculousness of the word "emo." The moral: your new group name doesn't have to be clever. Possible names include:
- The People
- Folks (consider a creative spelling, such as Phoxe)
- Emo II
- Nice People
- Frienders
- Petroleum Engineers
- Phriends
- The Buddy Dudes
Step Three: Music
With clothes and a name fully established, it's time to further define your group by claiming a style of music to call your own. Again, most of the music genres have been claimed, but a few are still available. Hurry and grab them now, because the theater kids love latching on to obscure genres. For your consideration:
- Banjo music
- Christmas carols (and the Happy Birthday song)
- Middle Eastern pop
- T.V. theme songs
- Soft jazz
- Barbershop quartet music
- Songs played backwards
- Chamber music
- Bird songs
Step Four: Location
Your new group will need to find a place to hang out. Chances are that the emo kids have already taken over the diner, the jocks own pretty much all the parking lots, and the cheerleaders congregate at Jess's house, unless Jess's step mom is being a total beyotch, in which case the girls hang out at Jessica R.'s house. So you'll need to do a little legwork to find a good location. And cross the park off your list right now. You're not 12 anymore. Possible hangouts:
- The non-smoking section of the diner
- The dead mall (the mall that is only at 60% store occupancy thanks to the economy)
- A roof
- The back corner on the second level of Ikea's parking lot
- Your grandma's (She'd love to have you.)
- The farmer's market
- Bearless caves
- Old, abandoned, bearless warehouses
- The woods where E.T. attempted to phone home, turned white, and almost died. (That would be so cool! And sad.)
Step Five: Ideology
This is the easy part. All groups have the same reason for existence: desperately clinging to others while attempting to be original and unique. All that changes is the clothes, name, music, and location.
Which clique are you in? Which one are you planning to form?
Topics: Life
Post a comment!