Duff: Secret Hooker or Clueless Girlfriend?

If you’ve been silently weeping into your tea ever since the Disney Channel stopped airing “Lizzie McGuire,” this one’s for you: Hilary Duff has a pair of primetime TV appearances booked for April.

Duff will be making her first cameo on "The Ghost Whisperer," which we've boycotted ever since we realized that Jennifer Love Hewitt’s character was wearing fake eyelashes to bed. (Seriously, the convos with the undead were one thing, but the eyelashes? That's totally unrealistic.)

Duff’s second role is on one of our most-loved franchises: "Law & Order: SVU." As die-hard SVU fans, we at SparkNotes have noticed that the show’s roles for guest stars tend to fall into certain specific categories. And if The Duff is making an appearance, we’re guessing she'll be playing one of the following roles:

Potential Duff Role #1: The Secret Hooker
The Secret Hooker is a perennial favorite on SVU. Usually a mother, lawyer, or college student, this character and her “secret” double life make for high drama and lots of snarky deadpan commentary from Ice T. Demands moderate acting range plus the ability to look good in a thong.

Potential Duff Role #2: The Clueless Girlfriend
Another classic role, the Clueless Girlfriend gets to say exciting lines like, “What’s going on?”, “Where are you taking Jerry?!”, and “But he’s too nice to rape anyone!” Look for her inevitable breakdown on the witness stand during the second half of the show. Requires more emotional range than the Secret Hooker, but not by much.

Potential Duff Role #3: Dead Body
Our personal favorite, the role of Dead Body involves guaranteed screen time and minimum effort. The Dead Body makes an appearance early on and gets talked about throughout the episode, but requires zero acting ability (unless you count “playing dead”).