Your Parents vs. Your Music

Music has been a divisive wedge between old and young for generations. Many parents today are deeply concerned that, without their guidance and excellent taste in morally sound stalwarts like Hall & Oates, their kids may be accidentally influenced by hip-hop’s glorification of Louis Vuitton, the sweaty dance-floor encounters of R&B, and country tunes that describe, in horrifying detail, what happens when a farm boy mishandles a tractor. Some grown folk even want that dreaded “Parental Advisory” sticker applied to all questionable MP3s (you see, they don't realize an MP3 is a digital file and no one makes stickers that small).

Of course, it could be worse. You could have parents who try a little too hard to be hip to all the same bands as you. And while Lily Allen’s themes may be universal, we doubt your ‘rents will find much to identify with some of her more colorful lyrics.

But if your parents haven’t weighed in on the contents of your iPod, it’s not because they don’t have an opinion. More likely they just don’t want to provoke another one of your “episodes,” which, to be honest, worked like a charm during finals last year. But there are other ways to find out how they feel about your music. You could invite them to a “Special Sharing Lunch” at Applebee’s. Or you could simply refer to our handy Guide To How Your Parents Think About Your Music, conveniently reproduced below.

Taylor Swift
From what your parents have read, Taylor’s a good, wholesome girl. Your mom thinks her outfits are maybe a little too revealing for someone her age. Your dad thinks she’s hot.

Miley Cyrus
Your parents’ wedding song was Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart,” which gives them a natural affection for this young pop star. However, they are confused by her Western states alter ego.

Kanye West
First of all, your parents refer to him as “Kayne.” Second of all, didn’t Bon Jovi use that same vocal effect back in 1986?

U2
Now this is a band your parents can get with. These guys are older, but they also rock. Plus Bono is doing all kinds of stuff for children in Africa and he’s friends with the Pope.

Beyoncé
Although they were huge Destiny’s Child fans, your parents kind of lost interest when Beyoncé went solo. They think her whole Sasha Fierce routine is a bit forced.

The Jonas Brothers
Your parents think the Jonas Brothers are the guys who sell furniture out of a warehouse on the highway. That being said, your mom has seen the posters in your room, and she knows exactly which J Bro is Peter Gallagher’s son.

Jamie Foxx
They know him as the guy who does a killer Ray Charles impression.

Britney Spears
She ripped off Madonna, then distinguished herself by going insane.

The Kings of Leon
They ripped off the Allman Brothers, then distinguished themselves by their steadfast commitment to ripping off the Allman Brothers.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Did the cat get caught in the garbage disposal again?

Coldplay
They are U2 with a piano. Stamp of approval.

Do your parents know what kind of music you like? Do they approve?