The Don'ts of Spring Break

It’s been a long time since the last school-sanctioned vacation, and signs of wear and tear are beginning to show. Your classmates are shooting flaming matchsticks at each other using bows made from paper clips and rubber bands. Your biology teacher claims to be on her last nerve, and even has the x-rays to prove it. And the only subject you're passing is AP Clockwatching. Fortunately for all parties, Spring Break is upon us: You're getting a well-deserved breather so that you can recuperate just enough so the end-of-the-year tornado doesn't completely destroy you.

We at SparkNotes were all set to help you plan out the best week of your life. But the relentless grind has dampened our creativity as well, and right now the best we can do is help you not make the worst of your Spring Break. So here’s the deal: We’ll give you some pointers on what to avoid, and you can consider everything else fair game. Wanna spend the week perfecting your slam poetry? Go for it. How about a week’s worth of falconer lessons? Fine by us. Just heed our advice below to make sure your Spring Break isn't a complete bust.

Don’t plan your prom outfit.
In fact, we’ll plan it for you right now: Girls, you’ll want to buy a fun dress that’s not too ruffled and pink and which you can wear for some other occasion someday. Guys, just stay away from tuxes that make you look like Mr. Peanut. Voila, prom outfit planned. Now go do something fun.

Don’t spend the whole week on the term paper that’s due the day you get back.
That’s what Sunday night is for. You should know better.

Don’t take a trip to Florida or any resort in Sandals.
Save this incredibly original idea for when you get to college and week-long black outs are somehow appealing. Actually, you shouldn’t save Sandals for any time in your life. Just cross it off the list now.

Don’t reacquaint yourself with the daytime TV you got really into last summer.
Yes, Maury does tackle some hot-button issues (“Michelle slept with her husband’s best friend on their wedding night!”), but unless you want to be a guest on “Goth Teens Gone Crazy,” you'll be better off spending some time in the sun.

Don’t participate in Hickey-thon ‘09.
While it’s always good to challenge yourself, breaking your own personal one-week make-out record isn’t necessarily something to be proud of. Especially if you end up with mono and have to stay home from school for the next month. On second thought...

Don’t be jealous of your friends’ plans.
Everyone knows someone whose parents take them on the most ridiculous trips—Christmas in the Cayman Islands or Golden Week in Japan—but we encourage you to care as little as possible about their good fortune. The best part of Spring Break is not having any plans for a week, and the less you do, the more relaxed you’ll be when you get back to school.

Don’t complain about being bored.
You already spend most of each school day expressing your disappointment with the lack of excitement in your life. Now's the time to indulge any unusual impulse—order a new sandwich at Panera or host a totally insane Scrabble party for your friends who are also stuck in town. Word nerds unite!

Don’t read SparkNotes.
Yeah, we said it. Stop studying and enjoy yourself! (Checking SparkLife, on the other hand, is enthusiastically encouraged.)

What are your plans for not having the worst Spring Break EVAR?

Still confused? Let us share some more Spring Break insight.