Sleep in Class (Without Getting Caught)
You spoke (or, uh, typed) and we listened: A while back, we posted about how to stay awake in class. Turns out we were a liiiiiiittle bit off base. We'd like to take this opportunity to give a shoutout to SparkNotes commenter oboy1992, who pointed out that it's not about staying awake in class...it's about not getting caught sleeping. Thanks, oboy1992, your tips and wisdom were hilarious. Yes, we said "wisdom" and yes, you can put that on your college application essay!
Now, we at SparkNotes have come up with our own in-class napping tips. Without further ado, we present...
Five Ways To Snooze Safely in Class
1. Go Back From Wentz You Came
We don't care whether you like the band Fall Out Boy or not, there's no debating that its famous bassist Pete Wentz has the hair of a pro Secret Sleeper. How can a teacher or professor peg you as a sleeper if she can't even see your eyes? Grow out that mane, chop it up, do whatever you need to do to get the biggest bang from your bangs.
2. Control Them 'Bos
Newsflash! The first thing a teacher looks for when he dims the lights for a "riveting slideshow" is wild, protruding elbows. When you take the dangerous doze, don't let your 'bos get away from you. Let them roam only to the edges of your desk—and no farther.
3. Do Yourself a Tina Fey-vor
Girl's got style. Girl's got sass. Girl's got a hit TV show. But most importantly, girl would never get caught in class without her signature eyeglasses. Tina Fey not only conveys that "you-can-totally-trust-me-see-I'm-a-nerd" vibe, but she also understands that complicating or obstructing the view of your eyeballs with thick frames or glossy lenses will distract the Deadly Grade Monster (aka...your teacher) from the closed eyes within.
4. Go Back to Middle School
Shut up, we don't mean literally go back to middle school! We mean if you get to choose where you sit, dump your bottom smack in the middle of your classroom or lecture hall. If you're in the front, you're too near your instructor, and if you're in the back, you're in the slacker section, which your teacher will inevitably patrol in search of sleepers. In the middle, you're as ignorable as banner ads.
5. Aces are High
We hate to say it, but if you want your teacher to leave you alone, ace a test. The earlier in the semester you do it, the better. Once you're known as one of the uber-smart kids who doesn't even need to pay attention in class to get the grade, your teacher won't be as likely to direct his/her wrath your way.