After spending a few hours at your thankless, minimum wage job, you may be rewarded with a 15-minute break. If you're a smoker, you know how to use this time. But for the non-smokers, and for those who already went to bathroom, those 15 minutes can be a strange, meaningless time. We're here to help fill that weird quarter of an hour. Below, you'll see our initial findings regarding how a typical 15-minute break is used, followed by our suggestions on how to better utilize the time.
The Average 15-Minute Break
(Time denoted in minutes: seconds)
0:00 – 0:30: Ask if you can take a break.
0:30 – 0:32: Tell other coworkers that you're going on your break.
0:32 – 1:00: Listen to heckles from other coworkers. Check text messages.
1:00 – 2:00: Walk to the break room. Think about buying a soda.
2:00 – 2:30: Quietly sing along to the radio despite awfulness of the song. Check text messages.
2:30 – 3:30: Reconsider buying a soda.
3:30 – 4:00: Page through corporate memos regarding last year's Black Friday sale.
4:00 – 6:00: Tell yourself that if the next song on the radio starts with the word "The," you will go buy a soda. This takes more time than you originally planned as the next song has a lengthy instrumental opening.
6:00 – 6:30: Change your phone's display setting.
6:30 – 8:30: Buy a soda.
8:30 – 10:00: Send awkward, drama-inducing text message to a member of the opposite sex.
10:00 - 11:00: Write harsh lyrics to a song about frustration, while regretting the text message you just sent.
11:00 – 12:00: Mess with your shoelaces.
12:00 – 12:30: Update Twitter with a cell phone photo of your shoes.
12:30 – 13:00: Regret your soda choice.
13:00 – 14:00: Doodle a 3-dimensional box on the bulletin board.
14:00 – 15:00: Call Tyler about tonight.
15:01: Yawn, and return to work feeling sluggish and irritated.
The Better 15-Minute Break
0:00 – 0:30: Ask if you can take a break.
0:30 – 0:32: Adopt a cat.
0:32 – 1:00: Donate something. (Not the cat)
1:00 – 2:00: Head to the break room while organizing a food drive.
2:00 – 5:30: Solve crime.
5:30 – 8:30: Read one page of Ulysses.
8:30 – 10:00: Write Congress. (In the letter, you do not need to address an issue or concern. Just drop them a note to say hi.)
10:00 - 11:00: Learn one Russian word.
11:00 – 12:00: Use that word three times in conversation.
12:00 – 13:00: Name the cat after a great philosopher or candy.
13:00 – 14:00: Doodle a 3-dimensional box on the bulletin board.
14:00 – 15:00: Power nap.
15:01 Return to work feeling happy and self-righteous.
Follow these instructions and you'll come out of your 15-minute break feeling like a new person. You can thank us later…in Russian.
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