There’s a very specific taxonomy to high school. Here at SparkNotes, one of our favorite subspecies is the prippie (preppy hippie, or Preppio hippius, for you science buffs). This Baja-wearing, patchouli-scented trustafarian may resemble a hippie, but he is in fact a separate, if related, hybrid species (kind of like a tigon). For the sake of clarity, we sometimes feel the need to remind prippies that they are not actually hippies. After the jump, a sociological field test: prippie or hippie?
You are a prippie, not a hippie, if:
- Your DMB sticker is on the bumper of a BMW.
- You wear a thong under your prairie skirt.
- You own multiple pieces of “glassware” but have never smoked pot.
- You used Bumble and Bumble to create your dreadlocks.
- Your idea of health food is getting a ginseng boost in your Jamba Juice smoothie.
- The toes peeking from your Birks/Rainbows are pedicured.
- You may not wear deodorant, but you still shave your armpits.
- You play hacky sack at the mall.
- You steal Red Stripe out of your dad’s beer refrigerator in the garage.
- Your parents make you pull your dreads into a ponytail for church/synagogue.
- Trey Anastasio, Bob Marley, or Jerry Garcia is the screensaver on your MacBook.
Are we all clear? Good. We can give Jeff Foxworthy his joke back now.
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