Like ohmagah! HI, you GUYS! I’m Tiffany Thongbiscuit, and you totally KNOW why I’m here, right? Duh! To talk about FASHION! Right? Shut UP!
I am SO excited to tell all of you guys about this most, like, amaaaazing prom dress I have for this year. Because SERIOUSLY, you guys, there is NO point in even GOING to prom unless you DO. IT. UP. Like me! Everyone says I’ve got Amazing Fashion Vision, just like Mariah Carey, and I’m like, shutupIknowrightohmagaaahd!!!
So this is my dress, y’all, and I love it so much ‘cause it’s like somebody put the WHOLE ENTIRE prom into ONE place. It’s like a dress wearing a cummerbund wearing a tiara! So I bought it even though my mom wanted me to get a long dress ‘cause she says I need some class. I told her I have class all day long, duuuuuh. My mom doesn’t know anything about fashion. Sometimes I think she’s from another planet, where maybe they don’t even have, like, fabric, because she doesn’t even know about amazing fashionists like RuPaul and the Pussycat Dolls. I try so super-hard to explain it, but she doesn’t understand how fashion has to match your “function” – I totally heard that on Project Runway, and I think it is smart. And I can’t wear any stupid loooong dress, y’all, because I have this CRAZY itch all up in my ladyparts and if I can’t reach to scratch it it will totally screw up the FUNCTION of my dancing. Right? But I’m scratching it right now and I bet you can’t even tell! That’s why fashion is so AWESOME. And next year for prom I am going to dress like a WHEEL OF CHEESE.